Friday Countdown - Jeep State

Friday Countdown - Jeep State

While the alt-right wingnuts fret about the “Deep State”, I worry more about who votes.  Thus, what follows is a first draft of a constitutional amendment to assign variable voting power to individuals, based on the vehicles they drive.  This is a draft.  You can have your own draft, on your own website, if you like.  First Amendment, ya know.

 

Number of votes, in each federal election, for each person who drives:

 

0 - Any Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati, Alfa Romeo or Porsche driver with an automatic transmission.

 

1 - Any person not otherwise specified on this list

 

2 - Anyone with a brown sedan

 

3 - Anyone with a brown coupe

 

4 - Any classic car, prior to 1972 (or 1977, if Trans Am or Can Am)

 

5 - Any Meyers Manx or rotary engine powered vehicle

 

6 - Any hybrid or all (and it pains me to write this because of Tesla) electric vehicle

 

6.5 - Any steam or flux-capacitor powered vehicle

 

7 - Anyone driving a fire engine, squad car, public works vehicle, humvee, tank, F-16, aircraft carrier, orange MH-65 Dolphin, etc.

 

8 - Volvo Wagons (they’re sensible folks)

 

9 - Bookmobile drivers

 

10 - Jeeps (CJs, TJs, JKs, XJs & SJs), Any Morgan, Any Ariel, Any Lotus (except the FWD Elan).  Basically, anyone who can set aside comfort, for a life honestly-lived.

 

11 - Any bicyclist or city resident who travels by public transit

 

1,000,000 - Anybody who establishes a loaner program for their Lancia Stratos

 

In order to form a more perfect union …