Craig’s Friday Countdown Non-Earth Planets

Earth Day reminds me that Earth remains my first choice in planets, but this bonus edition countdown ranks the other ones ... just in case.   

10.  Mercury – SPF 1,000,000 tough to find.

9.  Neptune – Two years on the shore of Lake Superior was cold enough.

8.  Jupiter – Red spot creeps me out.

7.  Mars – Close enough, it’s just mocking us now.  Strap a modern day Alan Shepard (if there is such a thing) to a rocket, and let’s go.   

6.  Uranus – Plucky planet, took a hit from something Earth sized and just kept rolling along (it rotates 98 degrees off its axis). 

5.  Pluto – The Pluto’s not a planet conspiracy is a scam on par with the Citizens United ruling. 

4.  Tatooine – Double sunset, swinging jazz bar, safety off the blaster.  Good times.   

3.  Saturn – The swanky, mid-century modern planet.

2.  Whatever planet Jake Arrieta is from.

1.  Venus – Men are from Mars, women are from Venus?  Nobrainer, then.