Siftings
Jul
11
Your Tick Remover Or Your Life
Something bad has happened. I can tell, because there’s a newspaper clipping on the driveway, under a rock, next to the Jeep. The Fortress of Solitude landlord has deposited another dispatch from the intersection of life and pathos for me to read. To be clear, he’s a very nice guy. Retired...
Jul
07
Craig’s Friday Countdown - Condiments
Condiments
33. Cheese Sauce (with e. coli)
32. Cheese Sauce (without e. coli)
31. Off-brand ketchup packets
30. Guacamole
29. Tahini
28. Wasabi
27. Mayonnaise
26. Getting Hit By A Bus
25. Ranch
24. Soy Sauce
23. Plum Sauce
22. ...
Jul
03
Pretty Deadly
All that stands between me and my life’s dream is a few mills of plastic. It’s an off-brand ketchup packet, and it’s going to stay an off-brand until they figure out how to include that little cut which starts the tear in their packet bid specs. This may set the record (to date) for the earliest...
Jun
29
Lab Work
Thanks Miggy. Someone had to say it, and it might as well be me. Miquel Montero was designated for assignment yesterday by the Cubs. The night before, he threw out zero of seven Washington Nationals attempting to steal bases. Outside of asking girls to the prom, baseball is the most humbling of...
Jun
23
Craig’s Friday Countdown - First Spin
Subject to change, but my ranking of songs from Jason Isbell (and the 400 Unit)’s just released new album, the Nashville Sound.
Based on the first listen to the full album. Ascending order.
Anxiety
Cumberland Gap
Chaos and Clothes
Tupelo
White Man’s World (brief related...
Jun
18
Straight Flush
You have to learn it. Never frowning. Furrowing your brow. Registering any negativity whatsoever, no matter what anyone says, or how they go on the attack. Even when they are attacking you. If you’re going to sit facing the crowd at a public meeting, bring your poker face. And pretend you’ve...
Jun
16
Craig’s Friday Countdown - Car Mags
Car Magazines
12. Motor Trend
11. Cat Fancy – Seriously, that’s how bad Motor Trend is.
10. Automobile - Needs a reboot.
9. Car – A UK mag.
8. Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee
7. Jalopnik
6. (tie) Hot Rod – The coolest cars of the bunch.
6. (tie) Road &...
Jun
11
Old Dog, Old Tricks
Dirty hands mean clean money, so goes the blue-collar excuse for not owning an Aston Martin. Either that, or letting Davenport rescind that goofy breach of contract notice when it was fun and crazy to work there. Because crazy without fun? Well, there’s no point to that.
Learned something...
Jun
04
I Got It
Is there anything I like more than catching a fly ball? Other than the company of just a few people … I’m thinking … still thinking … coming up blank here … no. The answer’s no. Stealing home is fun. Pecan pie is fab. Making it to the top of something snowy and tall is satisfying. Having...
May
31
Being There
Which one’s the sock drawer? I’m momentarily stumped, standing in front of the dresser. Which is funny in a way, because I know every one of the ninety boards that comprise the ten-drawer archetype of Shaker beauty in our Davenport bedroom. Over the course of a month of nights and weekends, I...
